I have just spent the better part of my afternoon listening to voice mail messages from:

1. A travel agent who wants my business. However, I can't give it to them because I can't talk with them until I have heard all the options that I don't want.

2. The Chamber of Commerce which wants to promote business and commerce in my region. Again, I must listen to the list of what I don't need until, hopefully, I hear something that sounds fairly promising. (In all fairness, I know who I want and their extension number. But how about those who are new to the region seeking information.)

3. The hotel in Chicago where I would like to stay for a few days. Before I can talk to a "real" person, I must discuss my situation with a &%$& computer. And if I am lucky, the little *&^& will allow me to speak to a human.

4. A client who has left me an urgent message to return his call ASAP. When I returned his call, the operator was out shopping, on a break, having lunch -- or maybe listening to people who talk to voice mail.

At any rate, I had to listen to several options before I had the distinct opportunity to spell my client's name (just the first four letters of the last name). How would the system know that I wanted junior or senior? No problem. Once the computer or whatever figured out that there were two people with the same last name, I was given another menu to chose the correct person. Hallelujah!

5. My local utility company. I wanted to question an item on my bill. I had to enter whether I was a residential or business customer. Having completed this difficult task, I had to listen to a list of questions so the &$*#& could determine if I could continue or be cut off.

After allowing me to advance to the next plateau in this game of nerve, a message informed me that everyone was busy serving other callers. The &%$*& told me my call was important and that I would be attended to in the order in which I had called.

After waiting for them to serve all the others who had called before me, another message announced that, due to the large backlog of calls, I could leave my name and number and they would call me back. That's all I wanted in the first place!

It is with a sheepish grin on my face that I admit to having voice mail on my own phone. It just says, I'm not here. Leave a message and I'll call you back. No options... No recording... No menus!

How can we market goods and services if we can't (or don't want to) talk with our clients and customers?

The abuse of communications technology can ruin a lot of good marketing plans. Remember... there is a big NO in technology. Don't become a victim!